Do you remember feeding yourself when you were a little kid? The joy of plucking tasty morsels from the plate and popping them into your hungry mouth?
Eating by yourself. For all, it’s a foggy recollection. For most, a recent mundane memory. For me, it’s like it was just yesterday. Because it was.
MS has pretty much robbed me of my independence. I can no longer dress myself, bathe myself, or even do my own hair (and ladies, you KNOW what a blow that is to the “she psyche”). Getting my teeth brushed is a comedy of errors (“That’s too hard!” “That’s too soft!” “Wait! That’s Preparation H, dude!!”). And we won’t even go into the other girlie stuff. All I can say is thank God for menopause and makeup-free Alicia Keys!
Feeding myself is a BIG deal. I can still feed myself a little bit. Call me lazy, but it’s so much easier to let someone feed me. It’s actually quite a spectacle, especially when two people are trying to feed me at once. What should be a coordinated effort actually looks something like the Coney Island hotdog eating contest, except two people are jamming food into my mouth at a frenzied pace. Think Joey Chestnut being fed by his parents. Yeah, scary, right?
So yesterday, Ed was headed out to get some exercise, but it was also time for me to eat dinner. I instructed him to simply throw a couple handfuls of spinach, raw broccoli, beets, and some feta cheese into a bowl with the slightest drizzling of balsamic vinegar. He sat me on the family room couch, draped an apron over me, gave me a fork and left me to do some mindless eating while watching “Wheel of Fortune” and “Jeopardy”. He said he’d clean up after me once he returned.
I attacked my meal with gusto, fearlessly jabbing the large chunks of food, chewing with reckless abandon. When it got down to the dregs, I opted to employ the Moroccan method and use my fingers. When Ed returned, all of my food was gone. I repeat: ALL of my food was gone. And virtually nothing on my apron. Not to mention the fact that I’d won $54,000 in cash and prizes on “Wheel” and become the new Jeopardy champion!
My A+ effort scored me a couple squares of Lindt chocolate. Dark chocolate. With raspberries. Going for the whole enchilada tonight: an entire bar of 70% with sea salt. Bon appétit to me!